There’s nothing we love more than a good holiday. Fun fact: this makes every holiday a good holiday (flag day – we got our eye on you, babe). Saint Patrick’s Day is next level though. It’s a bonified shamrockin holiday that is totally worth practicing an entire month in advance, in the name of research and development (duh). We’re just that dedicated to the craft. Rainbows, leprechauns, pots of gold, Irish accents, we’re all in.
So, what do two aimless sisters do in Dallas for Saint Patrick’ Day? Last-year we did the Greenville Parade. Loved it. 10/10 recommend doing it at least once. What’s it about? Google it. Jk. You basically get a bit boozy around 9am at one of your favorite human’s home, drink until noonish, then leave to go walk down Greenville for a really long time. You’ll inevitably have to pee. Have your friend’s husband flash his Blockbuster card at Kroger so can use the bathroom in the back. After that, buy more alcohol, keep walking down Greenville Ave, get more drunk, run out of booze (again), and then hit a large crowd of people and lose all your friends (yes, somehow we have friends) except your sister because y’all are holding hands. It’s a crowded shit show of a day and y’all need to participate at least once. That said, we’re skipping this year and moving our talents to some shamtastically boisterous establishment instead.
That’s right. This year we’re wiser, older, lazier, and committed to practicing our slammin Irish accents at one slammin location. So, like the holiday savants we are, we decided to visit seven Irish pubs in one day in order to pick the perfect Saint Patty’s Day local. We called it our pre- St. Patty’s Day “research and development” Pub Crawl because that sounded classier than “we’ll be drinking and Ubering between Irish-themed bars by ourselves starting at 10am” in the group text. That said, you get the idea. You also get seven solid recommendations on where to pretend you’re Irish this weekend or whenever or all the time. Let’s get to it.
First on the list: Anvil Pub, located in the forever-cool Deep Ellum. The moment we pulled up, we were in love. We were also a bit nervous because we didn’t bring a chaperone who would make sure we didn’t just stay in one bar all day. The outside looks very Irish Pub-esk. This is exactly what we were jones’n for. Inside, Anvil Pub is massive. There is a huge center bar that spans two rooms and tons of table tops full of people who look like they come here all the time. We also want to come here all the time. The menu is full of brunch options and ‘traditional’ Irish fare. We ordered bloody marys since it was before noon and we were trying to keep it classy. The bartended asked us if we wanted the “normal” or “large” size. Apparently heaven is a place on earth. Obviously, we went large. Obviously, our dedication to classiness went out the window. This drink came with a freaking hamburger attached to it. Our 1-hour time-line for Anvil Pub was promptly blown. We will be here often, but will we be here for St. Patty’s? Six more bars to go…
Crafty Irishman Public House
Up next, the Crafty Irishman. Needless to say, we were already living our best lives by the time we arrived here. **Apologies to our Uber driver who had to listen to us say “Crafty Irishman” in Irish/Australian accents for the entire ride.** Located downtown, the Crafty Irishman is confined by the exterior of a high-rise, but it’s also pretty shamrocked-out so it’s clearly an Irish-themed bar. It’s just also got a bit of a corporate vibe – which we’re down with because, as luck would have it, we both look amazing in a well-tailored pencil skirt. Once inside, the Craft Irishman maintains the corporate-Irish-pub vibe and they’ve got tons of TVs playing soccer. This was good, because the people here seemed to really love soccer. We loved ordering more bloody marys. We really really loved discovering our favorite menu item of the day: Irish Nachos. Yeah, Irish Nachos. Like regular nachos, but with kettle chips and magic. We each ordered our own plate because, fun fact, we hate sharing. Definitely recommend this place for St. Patty’s Day or every day, especially if you’re a soccer fan. We, however, have five more bars to visit.
Playwright Irish Pub
Located… we actually have no idea where this pub is located. Somewhere in Dallas? We were completely engrossed in an Irish-accent instructional YouTube video and not paying attention to where we were going. **Apologies to yet another Uber driver.** Either way, we did eventually get here and we do know that Playwright Irish Pub is located in yet another office building. As a result, it has a pretty run of the mill exterior. The interior steps it up a notch with a floor to ceiling bar cabinet on the far back wall. We simultaneously said “wow” upon seeing it. We were that moved. You need to come here just to see this bar – it’s worth it. Playwright Irish Pub also has a stunning Guinness Toucan statue, which we learned is a thing. Naturally, but also surprisingly (given how the day was going), several photos (with our Guinesses) were taken. The staff here is exceptionally friendly. There are lots of televisions for sports viewing fans. There is also lots of Guinness for Guinness fans. It was at this stage of the day that our chaperone showed up to assist in getting us to pubs four through seven… let’s save that saga for tomorrow.
If you’re trying to decide where to go for your St. Patty’s Day, you can’t go wrong with any of the above. We think. These were all visited during the more sober half of the day. Check the blog tomorrow for four more kickin recs.